Everyone Around Me is Pregnant!

I love it! I am also really jealous. Is that strange? I have two beautiful children! I am taking it as a sign that I definitely want more babies.

All the recent baby news sent me down memory lane to a time when it was unbearable. I was always happy for my friends who were pregnant, but I was also incredibly sad that I wasn't yet (and didn't know if I would ever be). Every cliché was true - and I hated it.

I also hated (and still do) the feeling of telling someone that I know is wrestling with infertility that I am pregnant (and/or talking about my kids). It is like telling someone dying of cancer that you are a 5 year survivor. It doesn't seem fair. I am usually overwhelmed with survivor's guilt. And, I never know what to say. Even worse, I feel like everyone thinks I should know exactly what to say because I've been there. The expectations are high - and I always fail to meet them.

Ever been on either side of the fence? Advice?

Using Your Frozen Eggs? Be a Part of HOPE!

Cancer patients helped spark and propel the egg-freezing craze in the United States. And, now, for those of you who are ready to go back and use your frozen eggs to try to get pregnant, there is a clinical trial for you to participate in – the HOPE Registry run by EMD Serono. The registry will collect data to help answer questions like:

1. How many eggs do I need to freeze to have a baby?
2. Which egg freezing technique should I use – slow freezing or fast freezing (vitrification)?
3. Will my baby be healthy?

The trial is only as good as the number of people who participate – the more the better. Participating is a cinch. You don’t have to do anything. Your reproductive doctor just signs you up and then anonymously shares your data with the trial. So, if you or anyone you know is using their frozen eggs, ask your fertility doctor to sign you up. What do you think – would you participate?

Would You Risk Your Life to Have a Baby?

Today, I spent the day with my good friend Erin Zammett Ruddy, a freelance writer and a columnist and blogger for glamour.com, and her son, Alex. As our children played together, I couldn’t help but think how lucky we both are – cancer survivors and moms. When we were diagnosed with cancer, the idea of future parenthood seemed so audacious and extravagant. We’ve both been asked on more than one occasion - shouldn’t you just be happy you are alive? Of course, we are happy to be alive! Aren’t you? But, just like you, we want to live amazing lives and, for us, that includes having kids. Erin’s story is unique. She had chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML) and for the last six years has been treated with Gleevec. The drug that saved her life doesn’t cause infertility in women, but you can't take it while you are pregnant. If you stop taking it, you risk the cancer coming back and the drug not working for you anymore. Quite a dilemma. With her oncologist’s approval, Erin went off Gleevec to conceive Alex and nothing went awry. Her cancer didn’t come back and Gleevec continues to work for her. So now, a year and half later, she is longing for another baby and wondering – do I risk my life again for a baby? As Alex plays with Paisley and Walker, it is hard for me to argue against it. I have two children – and want more. I get it. As Fertile Hope's Founder & Executive Director, it is also hard for me not to try to solve this dilemma other ways – IVF, surrogacy, adoption, etc. Erin’s done her homework on all of those options and knows they aren’t right for her (read more here). What would you do?