Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I can hardly believe that my son Walker is almost a year old! We conceived him shortly after my daughter Paisley turned one and, as his first birthday approaches, I find myself longing for Baby #3. It doesn’t help that I am surrounded by cancer and fertility on a daily basis and that one of my co-workers is pregnant and looking fabulous in her Liz Lange maternity clothes! I’ve always said I want four or five kids – and, then, cancer put it all at risk. There were a lot of dark times when I never thought that I would be a mom. Now, fortunately, I know what works for us, but it is expensive! As the economy crumbles, I wonder – should we just be happy with where we are or should we try for another baby? Three complicates everything – from housing (outgrowing our tiny 2-bedroom apartment in NYC!) to transportation (do they even make a triple stroller?!) to cost (IVF through college!). Cancer taught me to shoot for the stars and live the life of my dreams. Now, I guess I am wondering – is a big family still my dream? If the economy was in better shape, would I even be having these thoughts? I can’t tell if I am being practical or crazy. Will I look back in 10 years when the economy is soaring high and regret not shooting for the stars?